At least that’s what Rose called it as we planned and made it. We’ve had this jar of canned Mystery Meat since 2002. We rediscovered it a few months ago, and I left it on the counter threatening that we’d cook it up and eat it one day. Because I didn’t get a moose or any other big game this year, that day has finally come.

Rose suggested that we make sure our wills are up to date, and that we leave a note for the coroner to make their job easier. So I began this post.

What do you do with 14-year-old mystery meat? Well, you’re probably going to want it spicy to cover up any rank old-meat flavor (oh, did I say that out loud?). We have no idea where this came from, but we thank you again for the lovely gift.

I gave it some thought, and we created a new recipe. Yes, again, we debut a phrase that didn’t exist on the internet. (Those of you who know me know that I do enjoy these introductions of novelty onto the world’s English stage.)

Mystery Meat Tostadas

Eeewww. I spooned out the fat globs and the discolored meat above the juice and just used the clean pink stuff below. We both had what might be called a suicide pact taste before committing ourselves to the full meal deal. It tasted alright, but we don’t know yet what botulism tastes like.

~1 lb. meat (we used canned Mystery Meat 14 years old; you could use any meat)
1 med-small onion
1 jalapeño
½ can black beans
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp chilpotle chile flakes
chopped tomatoes
shredded cabbage
chopped green onion
cilantro leaves
lime juice
grated cheese
salsa if desired
corn tortillas
olive oil

Mystery Meat Tostada

Put ~1/4 inch of olive oil into a pan and heat until hot (short of smoking). Fry one tortilla at a time in the oil for ~30 seconds on each side until golden brown. Set on a paper towel to drain. Saute onion, then garlic and chile, then add meat; shred, then add chilpotle and black beans and cook together for a few minutes until done. Pile onto a tortilla, then add the chopped vegetables, cheese, cilantro, salsa, and a few drops of lime. Serve immediately.

We found this impromptu recipe to be amazingly good, and it only took about 30 minutes to make. If it has to be our last supper, it was worth it.

OMG: We lived! And we have leftover Last Supper! Go figure. Who do you serve that to?? Or is it like Russian roulette and you have another dinner?? Dear Abby,…