This is a bit futzy, but very tasty.

Last weekend we went camping, and on the drive there and back we listened to a P. G. Wodehouse novel, one of the Jeeves series. I don’t know whether it was in a daydream or a nightdream, but a very specific phrase was created and stuck firmly in my head: “They do an excellent three-pointed onion there.” I am sure it was from Wodehouse’s influence. Although it was not used in the novel, it has the sort of humorous, daft ring to it as something Bertie Wooster or one of his friends might have said. Anyway, it was stuck in my head and I wondered what such a dish might be like.

Those who know me probably know that I enjoy discovering phrases that yield zero Google hits. With this post, “three-pointed onion” will soon lose its place in that exalted realm. And this is a bit frustrating, because my wonder about this phantom dish can only be satisfied by its invention. This is one. There is another one coming.

3 large sweet onions
~two-thirds to one pound ground caribou (depending on onion size)
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 Tbsp chile seasoning (I used a spicy ancho)
1 tsp oregano
salt to taste
2 eggs
~1/8 C half-and-half
½ C well-crushed crackers
3 slices of cheese

Start a pot of water boiling for the onions. Peel the onions, but don’t cut off either the top or the bottom. (A knife tip around the stem helps to peel them.) Boil them for 20 minutes, take them out, and let them cool until you can handle them easily. Just barely cut off the root, then about a quarter of the top, straight across. Using a paring knife, dice up the interior and scoop it out with the knife and a spoon. Be firm and bold, leaving about 3 layers of the outer onion intact. If you make a hole, which happens often at the root, just cover it with a removed piece of onion leaf. Rack them in a baking pan and preheat the oven to 350 F.

Separately, cook up the burger, garlic, and spices (I made up the amounts given—play with these however you like), breaking up the burger into very small pieces. When cooked, mix it up in a bowl with the eggs, crushed crackers, and half-and-half to form the stuffing.

Stuffed onions.

Using a teaspoon, pack the stuffing into the onion shells, filling them tightly to the top. Bake for 30 minutes, then add a slice of cheese to the top of each and broil for ~3-4 minutes, until the cheese is bubbling and browning (the onions will start to brown, too).

Baked onion with broiled havarti cheese on top.

Remove from the oven and let cool for ~8-10 minutes, then, with a very sharp knife, cut into thirds and serve. This is sharp-knife-and-fork food, and you have to play with pieces as you cut it up and eat it, but it’s good.

Final product: Rudolph’s Three-pointed Onion.

(Three-pointed? Three onions, three basic ingredients—onion, stuffing, cheese—, and cut into thirds. I point to these three and close my case.)